1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by peeing in the bathtub.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from hitting the snooze button.
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