A Punjabi woman at clinic
A punjabi woman in london talking in English to a Dr about her sick child "My kaka is ill ek week da. Na eat da, na sleep da , bas weep da te cheek da, nale nak v leak da...!!
Everyone has experienced
Reliance
All new series of Rajnikanth
Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
---------------------------------
Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
----------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!
------------------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!
------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
------------------------------------------------
The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
-----------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
-----------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
-----------------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
----------------------------------
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
----------------------------------
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
----------------------------------
Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer
----------------------------------
This 1 is Baap
Wimbledon special
Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. Ask me anything and I will answer
Rajnikanth: Kanna.. How many holes are there in the net ?
MasterCard... Priceless
A husband wakes up with a hangover....
He opens his eyes n sees aspirins and water.
He sits down & sees his clothes all clean & pressed....
He takes the aspirin & finds a note "honey, breakfast's on table, I left to buy groceries. Love you"
Totally shocked,
He goes to the kitchen 4 breakfast there he finds his son & asks him "What happened last nite?".
Son says "Well Dad u came home. @ 3am, drunk & delirious, broke all d crockery, puked in the hall & made a total mess....
Confused he asks, "then y is everything in order?"
Son says, "Oh! Mom dragged u 2 the room tried 2 take ur clothes off & you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
I can't ditch her...
MORAL:
Self induced hangover - 400$
Broken Crockery - 1000$
But saying the right thing when drunk...
PRICELESS !!
Conditions Apply
I asked GOD: If everything is already Written in Destiny,
then why should I Pray ?
GOD Smiled & said: I have also Written
'CONDITIONS APPLY'.
Life Experience
Always WRONG PERSONS Teach the
RIGHT LESSONS in Life.
That is called LIFE EXPERIENCE.
Life is Simple
Life is similar to Boxing Game.
Defeat is not Declared when you Fall Down.
It is Declared when you Refuse to Get Up.
Defeat is not Declared when you Fall Down.
It is Declared when you Refuse to Get Up.
Relations are priceless
Always take Care of RELATIONS.
Thats why they say, whenever you are in Doubt,
'SILENCE' is the Best Policy.
Be with Good People
If a Drop of Water falls on a Lake,
its Identity is Lost.
BUT
If a Drop of Water falls on a Lotus Leaf,
it Shines like a Pearl.
Drop is the Same,
but the 'COMPANY' matters.
Never Lose Hope
Our HOPES should be like HAIR & NAILS.
No matter how many times they get Cut,
but they never stop Growing.
That is why they say,
Always Hope for the Best,
however Bad the Situation may be.
Memories
'MEMORIES' are always Special.
Sometimes, We Laugh by
Remembering the days We Cried.
&
Sometimes, We Cry by
Remembering the days We Laughed.
That's LIFE.
Important Advice in Life
Never Share your Secrets with Anyone.
This can be Self-Destructive...perhaps the most Important Advice in Life.
Never Tell Ur Problems to Anyone.
20% will not Care & 80% will be Glad that you have Them.
This can be Self-Destructive...perhaps the most Important Advice in Life.
Never Tell Ur Problems to Anyone.
20% will not Care & 80% will be Glad that you have Them.
Sea is Common to ALL
Listening To your Wife
Listening To your Wife...is like reading terms & conditions of a website.
You understand nothing but still click "I AGREE".
Life
Guzri hui jindgi ko kabhi yaad na kar,
Taqdir me jo likha hai uski fariyad na kar,
Jo hoga wo hokar rahega,
Tu kalki fikar me apni aaj ki hasi barbad na kar.
Mor nachte hue bhi rota hai
aur
Hans marte hue bhi gata hai
Ye jindagi ka funda hai boss
Dukho wali raat neend nahi aati
Or
Khushi wali raat kaun sota hai!
Take chances.. Tell the truth... Learn to say NO...Spend money on the things u love... Laugh till ur stomach pains... Dance Even if u are too bad at it... Pose stupidly for photos...Be child-like..... Moral: Death is not the greatest loss in life.. Loss is when life dies inside u while u are alive....Celebrate this event called LIFE.
Fishing
Wife: Har Sunday Tum Fishing K Liye Jatey Ho Naa?
Husband: Haan-Haan Toh?
Wife: Aaj Woh Machhli Aayi Thi..
Keh Rhi Thi Ki Woh Maa Banne Wali hai!
Seedhi Baat
Wife to husband: Jab tum Vodka peetay ho to mujhay "jaanu" kehtay ho. Tequilla peetaay ho to "Darling". Par aaj ''kamini" kyu? Husband: Aaj maine SPRITE piya hai, Seedhi baat, no bakwas...
Weekend
One friday, a boy with a super hot girl entered a jewellery shop & chose a ring worth 8 million for her.
The girl obviously felt awesome.
Boy gave a cheque & said he will collect the Ring on Monday after the cheque clears.
On Monday the jeweller calls the boy:
"There's no money in your a/c. The cheque
bounced!"
Boy: "I know. But you can't imagine what a weekend I had...
BEWARE OF FEMALE DRIVERS
After Accident , a male Driver Angrily said :- I showed you the Headlights and told u let
me go first ...............
Female Driver :- I also started the Wipers and said
No, No, No....
the Male Driver fainted !!!
20-year-old Hyderabad student confined, raped for 17 months
The girl, a resident of Riyasatngar in old city, was kept in different houses on the outskirts of the city since April, 2012 and raped repeatedly by Singh. She even had to undergo abortion once, police sources said.
According to her statement, she was given a fruit juice laced with sedatives at the canteen on April 3, 2012 before being abducted. Later, she was shifted from one house to another to avoid detection. She escaped on September 4 when Singh was asleep and reached her home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)